The Jelly Babie Conspiracy

There has been an insidious evil going on that no-one seems to have noticed... except for me: the disappearance of a whole segment of the Jelly Baby population. You can see in the photo above the regular contents of a container of Jelly Babies. But look at the image below, and you'll see one of the newly arrived bags of these juicy infants...


The green ones have vanished. I'm not sure quite when this happened but, thinking back, I seem to recall that the green ones were becoming a smaller and smaller minority for quite some time.

There is only one explanation : Ethnic Cleansing.

Now this is truly abhorrent. The idea of discriminating against any group based on the colour of their jubey flesh is appalling enough, but to actually round them up and eliminating them truly chills the soul.
For the love of all that's good, THEY'RE JUST BABIES!! How could they have possibly have done anything to warrant such inhumane treatment, they only left the factory production line days before.

And don't get me started on this outrage...


We must all make our voices heard on this issue, every day we remain quiet, we endorse this injustice.

For those who may have forgotten...

It really is funny how quickly people forget stuff. I dropped a girl I work with home the other night and, in the morning, she texted me asking if I had any facial hair. She saw me the night before.
I MMSed her this picture:
She then texted back "How long has it been like that?" - as if I'd grown it since she saw me twelve hours earlier.
When I took her up on her poor memory, she confessed she couldn't recall what colour my eyes were either.
For anyone else who may be unsure, I include the following image:
I request that anyone who is having any trouble remembering what I look like download these images and set them as either their desktop backgrounds or mobile phone wallpapers.

Also, as a footnote, this man is not me (to start with, I'm much cuter):
I swear, the next person to tell me I look like him is going to witness the hissy fit of their lives.
DON'T tickle this dragon.